Table of Contents
“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” ~ Proverbs 31:11-12 (NIV)
Welcome back, faithful sister. I pray that God is filling your cup this week more than ever.
Last week, we explored the fundamental importance of placing God at the very center of your marriage.
I shared how faith can be the grounding anchor that supports, strengthens, and guides your relationship.
God is the glue that holds our marriages together with a steadfastness and strength rooted in His unchanging love for us.
I also introduced two simple steps to help you nurture your marriage with God at the center—steps designed to provide an easy and seamless beginning to a more Christ-filled marriage.
If you missed last week’s article, you can catch up here.
This week, we’re taking it a step further. Together, we’ll explore how to fill your marriage with intentional communication, acts of love, and unwavering faith.
This week’s focus is all about building a marriage that reflects God’s love, no matter the challenges you may face.
We’ll dive into:
- Communicating with Love and Grace
- Serving Each Other with a Grateful Heart
We’re going to take this one faithful step at a time. With love and intentionality, you can build and even revive a marriage that reflects God’s love in every aspect.
Whether you’re facing struggles, seeking a deeper connection, or simply wanting to grow together in faith, this article is for you.
Let’s embark on this journey together, one step closer to God’s perfect plan for your marriage.
Communicating with Love and Grace
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” ~ Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
Hear me: A marriage without communication will not last.
Communication in marriage is the key to lasting success, but the reality is that open communication is not always easy.
Every person expresses themselves differently. Stack differing personalities on top of that, and sometimes, signals can get crossed.
Communicating with grace and love can become especially difficult during moments of conflict or overwhelm.
So, what are some solid practices we can all remember and benefit from? Let’s take a look.
Practice Active Listening
There will be times when the best gift we can give our spouse is simply our listening ear—really listening.
But what does that mean?
It means you’re not listening through your own filters, preconceptions, or opinions. Instead, you’re listening intently with a desire to better understand their perspective, worries, doubts, dreams, and desires.
You need to approach moments like this with an open heart, not a closed-off spirit armed with judgment.
Remove distractions, put the phone away, turn off the TV, and actually look at them.
Make them feel valued, acknowledged, and heard. This is about hearing what is truly in and on their hearts.
Here’s the real zinger: You need to do this even in the middle of a heated debate.
Yes, this can be extremely hard—believe me, I’ve been there! Especially if you go into it with a defensive heart.
Remember this: Defensiveness fuels the ego, and ego escalates anger. This clouds your mind and shuts off your access to empathy and compassion.
Just as much as you want your side to be heard and acknowledged, you need to realize that your spouse does too.
They have feelings, insecurities, and concerns just like you. Yours are no more valid than theirs, and you both deserve to be heard in a safe space.
Again, this is not easy to do when emotions are high. So, if you have to, step away until you’ve both cooled off.
Then, make a conscious effort to listen to each other without interruptions and anger.
Without saying a word, actively listening to your spouse will speak volumes. It tells them, “I love you, and we’re in this together. It will be okay.”
Speak Words of Encouragement
Words hold power.
You’ve probably heard this before, and no doubt you’ve experienced it in different ways. Words have the ability to lift someone up or tear them down.
Plenty of people argue that we can choose whether we let other people’s words affect us or not, and that if we don’t want to be hurt, we simply need to “shake it off.”
While there’s a level of truth to that, it doesn’t change the fact that we have the choice to speak with kindness or disregard.
Especially in marriage, we should always choose to speak with consideration, love, and support.
It doesn’t take much to use our words to uplift and express love:
- “I appreciate how hard you work for our family.”
- “Thank you for supporting me.”
Simple expressions like these remind your spouse that they are valued.
When you choose to make consideration, love, and encouragement a daily part of your speech, you create a ripple effect of kindness and support that grows and strengthens your marriage.
Seek Forgiveness and Offer Grace
When we falter—and we will, because we are all flawed—it’s crucial that we humble ourselves by repenting and asking for forgiveness.
Not only should we repent, confess our sins, and ask forgiveness from the Lord, but we should also humbly seek forgiveness from our spouse.
If you’re in a position to offer forgiveness, I urge you not to become comfortable with the feelings of being “proven right” or vindicated.
Those feelings are gateways to egotistical aspects of our human psyche, giving way to arrogance and conceit.
Instead, offer forgiveness and grace from a place of humility, love, and understanding.
Just like you, your spouse has faults and imperfections. And just as you hope to be met with empathy and compassion, so does your spouse.
This doesn’t mean we ignore mistakes; rather, it means we choose to love despite them. This reflects the same grace God shows us every time we live and act less than holy by His standards.
Forgiveness and grace will be a regular part of a healthy, happy marriage.
No matter how much you love each other, we all make mistakes, and we all fall short.
Love your spouse as God loves you.
A Prayer for Communicating with Love and Grace
Heavenly Father,
We come to You with humble hearts.
Guide us in our marriage.
Help us to love each other.
Keep our hearts open and wise, and our ears attentive and humble.
Grant us the wisdom to set aside judgment and ego.
Father, guard our hearts and minds from the enemy.
Guide our tongues and words that every word we speak should be filled with kindness, encouragement, and love.
Lord, give us the strength to seek forgiveness when we falter and to offer grace and forgiveness when we are wronged.
Lord, remind us of the love that first brought us together.
We anchor ourselves in Your Word, Your truth, and Your example of sacrificial love.
We surrender our marriage to You, Lord, and invite You to be the center of all we do.
In Jesus’ holy name, we pray,
Amen.
Serving Each Other with a Grateful Heart
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” ~ Galatians 5:13 (NIV)
Serving our spouse is one of the most impactful ways to show our love. It allows us to express our deepest gratitude for them through meaningful action.
How do we turn our actions into a language of love? Let’s take a look.
See Service as an Act of Love
Service is not about keeping score. Keeping score in marriage is a toxic habit rooted in ego, not love.
Service in marriage is about actively choosing to show love through small, daily actions.
Maybe you prepare their favorite meal, handle a task on their behalf so they can rest, or create space in their lives for them to pursue something meaningful.
Acts of service like these—no matter how small—speak volumes to your spouse. They make your partner feel loved and valued.
This is how you build up your marriage: through intentional acts of care that reflect love in action.
Appreciate Each Other’s Strengths
Marriage is not a competition. There are no scorecards.
You each bring unique strengths to the relationship, and your spouse’s strengths are just as valuable as your own.
Open yourself up to notice and appreciate their qualities. It will shift your perspective and create space for gratitude.
Gratitude is a choice—a choice to see the good in your spouse and the ways they enrich your life.
Your combined traits bring balance and harmony to your marriage.
These are the qualities that first drew you together, that lit the fire inside you both, creating the chemistry that made you crave each other’s company and look forward to every moment you spent together.
Give yourself the space to recognize those things again.
Appreciation for your spouse will only deepen your love for them, reminding you why you chose to make the vow, “’Til death do us part.”
Prayer for Serving Each Other with a Grateful Heart
Heavenly Father,
We are grateful for our marriage and the blessing of having each other.
Lord, we seek Your guidance.
Help us to serve each other with love, humility, and intention.
We rebuke the enemy’s attempts to cause any division or dissension.
We renounce our selfish desires.
Help us to honor each other with small and meaningful acts of service that reflect Your love.
Let us not keep score but instead let us serve with joy, as Jesus served others with compassion and humility.
We pray for patience and understanding, and the strength to extend grace.
Thank You, Lord, for this beautiful marriage.
In Jesus’ name, we pray,
Amen.
7-Day Challenge: Building a Marriage That Reflects God’s Love
This week, I invite you to commit to building on actions that are rooted in love, grace, and intentionality.
Take each day to focus on a practical step that will help you continue to build a Christ-centered marriage.
Day 1: Practice Active Listening
- Focus: Strengthen communication by truly hearing your spouse.
- Challenge: Dedicate 10 minutes to listen to your spouse without distractions. Set aside your phone and to-do list, and focus entirely on their thoughts, worries, or dreams.
- Reflection: How did this time deepen your understanding of your spouse?
Day 2: Speak Words of Encouragement
- Focus: Build your spouse up with intentional, kind words.
- Challenge: Give your spouse two sincere compliments today, whether about their hard work, kindness, or anything you admire.
- Reflection: How did your words of encouragement impact their mood and your connection?
Day 3: Serve with Intention
- Focus: Show love through a thoughtful act of service.
- Challenge: Do something today to make your spouse feel loved—prepare their favorite meal, handle a chore they dislike, or offer them time to relax.
- Reflection: What was their reaction to your act of service? How did it make you feel to serve?
Day 4: Pray Together
- Focus: Invite God into your marriage.
- Challenge: Spend 5-10 minutes praying together as a couple. Pray for your marriage, each other’s needs, and God’s guidance in your lives.
- Reflection: How did this shared prayer time affect your bond and your day?
Day 5: Practice Gratitude
- Focus: Cultivate appreciation for your spouse’s unique qualities.
- Challenge: Write a short note or tell your spouse three specific things you’re grateful for about them.
- Reflection: How did expressing gratitude shift your perspective on your marriage?
Day 6: Reflect on Forgiveness and Grace
- Focus: Strengthen your bond through humility and compassion.
- Challenge: Take time to reflect on areas where you can extend forgiveness or seek it from your spouse. Have an honest, grace-filled conversation about it.
- Reflection: How did this act of humility and grace bring peace and healing to your marriage?
Day 7: Study Scripture Together
- Focus: Grow spiritually side-by-side.
- Challenge: Read and discuss a Bible verse on marriage (e.g., Ephesians 4:29 or Galatians 5:13). Share how it relates to your relationship and how you can apply it in your lives.
- Reflection: What insights did you gain from studying Scripture together?